Nicole Palafox, a summer 2014 Edgie takes a look back at God’s purposes in bring her to Spain this year.
When I first got to Spain, I was homesick, and honestly, I’ve been homesick ever since, but I know that I needed to be here. God brought me here for a reason and it was to change my heart. Not that I had a bad heart, but it just needed healing. God wanted alone time with me. He wanted to take me away so He could get my attention. He needed to remind me that He’s still here and that He’s never left me.
As these weeks went by, I realized I tried to run from my problems. I wanted to go on a missions trip so I can focus on other people’s problems and not my own. But boy was I in for a rude awakening. Actually, it wasn’t rude, it was just what I needed. God brought up many situations in my life that I’ve gone through that He needed me to be at peace with.
Growing up, I’ve been through many situations that have made me feel that I’m not good enough; not pretty enough, not good enough at singing, not good enough for my boyfriend’s parents, not good enough for anyone. Just not good enough. And I’m at this point where my problems haven’t magically disappeared, but with everything I’ve learned here, I know how to deal with them. I respond with love in every situation.
In Altea, Spain, I’ve been able to refocus myself on God and His love, which is what it used to be for a long time, but somewhere along the way I got lost. I’ve heard Him like I’ve never before, I’ve gotten encouraged by people who truly love me and care about me. I have been able to come out of my shell and receive the joy God has always given me. I feel ready to go back home to go share with others what I’ve learned and to go home and live differently; to love as 1 Corinthians 13 tells us to love, and to love God and trust in Him with all our hearts. It’s nothing that I haven’t heard before, but it was a specific reminder and an intentional time away from real life to be able to refocus my heart on what He needs me to do, on what my mission in life is.